WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU VAN Auto Collision

Intro

CRAZY MIKE here, after major success on our original website, I've upped my own paycheck and asked my assisstant to build a bigger, better, and MORE CRAZY website! This webpage should reflect how polished and proffesional WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU VAN has become. Customers would say our website is so polished that it looks like a brand new bumper courtesy of CRAZY MIKE.

Now, for a little history lesson they skipped in primary school. Before the shop was named "WHAM BAM, THANK YOU VAN Auto Collision" it was named "WHAM BAM, THANK YOU VAN Auto Collision." By my Dad's Dad, Crazy Sam. This shop has been in the family for generations, with many of the workers being relatives. (We get to pay relatives a little less, cause y'know, "family") We are located just off the express way ramp, down my Crazy Euguene's Engine Emporium. If you see the silly looking cows by the fields, you've gone too far. Turn around and start honking, Ill come running and show you where the other side of the rainbow leads. Its not gold, but dented bumpers and the smell of our infamous cherry car freshener due to one of our workers spilling a 5 gallon jug of it on the carpet. Check out our awesome work.

Work

Does your front end look like chewed up math homework that you blame your dog for? Accountability comes second, but first you need to email Mike (-'s assistant, refer to the "Contract" tab)! Get our free quote from one of our many professionals in the shop. Once you realize this is the best gosh darn deal in 250 miles, you'll be sitting in our cozy folding chair waiting for us to hit the undo button on your car. Our process is simple, look at the big ouchies and no longer make them ouchies, its not rocket science with Mike!.

Our step by step process is easy to follow, cause if it was complex, we wouldnt even understand it! We start by assessing the damages, what needs a little TLC, and what needs some major reshaping. From there, we do one of two repair methods, either the paint isnt damaged and we can pop the dent out, or we gotta get CRAZY. We start by sanding the area down, pulling the dent(s) out, applying our secret body filler method (shaven down ramen and super glue) if needed, then once its smooth its off to paint. You have Crazy Mikes word that the paint will look exact. We even apply a clear coat for those with an appointment, and let me tell you, drivers will be blinded when they see your sun beam off your new ride. When you get back into that car and leave our lot, you can almost hear the whole crew cheering for your brand new ride!

Pricing

Mike here, pricing is above, and if you dont like our prices, then I know what to tell you. Hop back on that express way and head 275 miles west and tell our closest competition that mike sent you. I guarantee they will not help you. Fartin Carls prices are expensive and the work they do takes 3 extra days and an arm and a leg to fund it. Not to mention their signature coconut fragrance smells will give you a nasty headache. Once you see their prices, you'll be pulling back into our lot with your car on fumes, not only asking for gas, but pleading for our service.

Payment will be accepted by our front desk secretary, Carla. Be warned, she may seem sweet, but if payment is not provided, or if payment doesnt go through, you'll meet a real life gremlin in broad daylight. We accept, cash, card, checks (there will be a slight processing fee, and a fine if checks bounce), or bottle return slips from our local grocery store. All other negotiations will be declined. (Im talking about you David, sweeping the front lot does not cover payment. Even if you do a great job.) Failure to pay will resort in a civilian arrest via an RKO and law enforcement will be called from the next county over.

Contact

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